


brightest before dusk

by freedomatsea



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Set before 2x01 but completely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8017369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomatsea/pseuds/freedomatsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took him barely a month to give in and honestly, it’s the easier temptation to give into. It serves two purposes - he gets an hour or so of blissful unawareness and its effectively wedged a block in between him and Kate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	brightest before dusk

**Author's Note:**

> Two in one day. Go me. Enjoy, motherfuckers!

He didn’t want to be an addict. He didn’t want to turn to drugs to numb the pain of losing Richie, but fuck if he really had a choice in the end. He tried to resist that temptation. It took him barely a month to give in and honestly, it’s the easier temptation to give into. It serves two purposes - he gets an hour or so of blissful unawareness and its effectively wedged a block in between him and Kate.

She was a temptation he couldn’t risk giving in to.

Seth would have been a goddamn liar if he said Kate didn’t get him going.

It was wrong.

Kate was pure as the driven snow and he was, well… thief, murderer, asshole?

“You’re high.”

“What was that Katie-cakes?” Seth’s head lolled to the side, his vision a little fuzzy around the edges as he focused on Kate.

Kate rolled her eyes, “You said what am I and I said you’re high.”

“Shit. Was I talking?”

“For the past twenty minutes.” She punctuated her sentence by slamming her book closed. “Seth, when is this going to stop?”

Seth started to sit up, but it was too much too fast and he was fairly certain he’d narrowly missed throwing up. But the queasiness passed and the hazy bliss of the high returned, though it was fleeting. “You’re the one that helped me shoot up.”

“Because your hands were shaking so bad you couldn’t get it in your vein.” Kate bit out, slapping her hands against the table. “Because it was it time to shoot up and we were still five miles away and you were starting to freak out.”

“It wasn’t that bad Katie-cakes.” He waved his hand dismissively, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t look at her. He could see her disappointment. She was right. She helped him shoot up when he couldn’t think straight, but it wasn’t because she wanted to. Whatever look he used to see in her eyes, whether amusement or something else had died and it was all his fault.

It was the heroin’s fault.

“You’re a goddamn mess Seth.” Kate murmured and Seth jumped.

“What happened?” Seth questioned, blinking up at her green eyes. His head was in her lap and she was sweeping a cool washcloth over his brow. “How long was I out?”

“Two hours.” Kate had distinctive worried line between her brows and he was fairly certain he was the one who put it there. “You have to stop doing this Seth. Do you have any idea what the long term side effects of heroin use are?”

“Yeah.” Seth rubbed at his eyes, “I also know that the short term feels almost as good as sex without all the messy parts.” The words came out a little harsher than he meant them to, but there they were. He pushed himself off the bed, his eyes scanning the table where he’d left the supply he’d got. “Where’s my shit?”

“You used all of it.” Kate said too quickly. Seth snapped around to look at her where she sat innocently cross-legged on their bed.

“Like hell I did.” Seth bit out, “I had enough for two days. Where’d it go.”

Kate crossed her arms across her chest. “I got rid of it. I don’t want you using anymore. It’s only good for you. You get to escape this clearly miserable situation with me and I get to sit here and worry that you’re going to overdose and die on me.”

“You’re not why I’m miserable.” Seth said quietly, his jaw set hard.

“Well,” Kate started, narrowing her eyes. “You were saying differently earlier.”

“What was I saying?”

“I’d rather not repeat it.” Kate’s cheeks turned red and she looked away from him. “If that’s how you feel though… I don’t have to stay you know.”

“Where would you go? Back to Bethel? Kate.” Seth raked his hand over his face, letting out an unsteady breath. “That’s not what I want.”

“But you can’t have what you really want, right? That’s what you said at least.” Kate’s lips were drawn into a thin line, her eyes boring into his skin. She’d mastered the withering killer glare.

Seth sat down at the foot of the bed. “Yeah. I guess that’s what I said because that’s what I was thinking about.” He looked down at his hands, shaking his head solemnly.

“I read that heroin --’

“You’ve been researching?”

“Yeah.” Kate’s brows knit together. “Because I’m worried about you. But anyways…  Heroin is supposed to feel like really good sex, right?”

“Mhm.” Seth nodded his head. “Like the best orgasm you’ve ever had times like a billion.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Kate said dryly, “Are you really using heroin to dull the pain or are you using it because you can’t get the release you really want?”

“Kate, this is ridiculous.” She was too close to the truth. God, he needed to keep his mouth shut when he’s high. What the hell had he said? That he was using because he couldn’t have her? It was part of the truth, yeah, but… not one he wanted to saddle her with.

Seth stood up, turning his back to her. “I could use some food. I’m starving. Wanna hit up that all-day breakfast dive we saw a few miles back?” He buttoned his shirt up, grabing his jacket and tugging it on.

He could feel Kate’s eyes on him for the longest moment, before she pushed herself out of the bed with a half-hearted affirmative to question.

He couldn’t let that wedge slip out of place.

Kate was this untouchable good. This bright light that was guiding him and if he touched her his dirty hands would blot out the light. He couldn’t do that. He needed her light more than he needed anything else. He was as sane as he was because of her, which admittedly wasn’t much, but he wasn’t as far gone as he could have been.

“I’m driving.” Kate told him, snatching the keys out of his hand, their fingers brushing, her touch burning his skin.

Seth nodded, tucking his hands into his suit jacket. “Probably wise. I’m still coming down. Nothing a little food won’t cure.” He let out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the way a part of his anatomy had surged to life over one stupid little touch.

“You know…” Kate started, stopping in the doorway, as she pushed the motel door open. “If you ever need to talk… I’ll listen. I might not understand some of it, but…It might help you. And I mean when you’re sober. I don’t want to listen to high Seth complaining because my existence is torture.”

“I said that?” Seth frowned. Shit. “You know I didn’t mean it. Not like that. Not at all. Your existence is far from torture.” Oh, it was torture, but not the sort of torture she needed to hear about. “You shouldn’t listen to what I say when I’m high.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Kate questioned, tilting her head to the side as she looked up at him. “I can’t just leave you. You need someone here in case your high goes wrong. I’m just sick and tired of being here for you and hearing you blame me for being miserable.”

“Shut the door.” Seth turned to walk back into the room. He ran his hand over his forehead, letting out a heavy sigh.

“What if I don’t want to?” Kate bit out, dangling the keys in front of her. “What if I want to take these keys and drive the car as far as I can and not look back? You’d like that wouldn’t you? Would that put you out of your goddamn misery? No more Katie-Cakes to to chastise you for getting high after I already make you hate your fucking life.”

It was really the wrong time to think she was really hot when she swore. It was still new for her and he could see the exhilaration she felt when she let one slip. He needed to stop. Kate was off limits.

“Kate, shut the door.” Seth said again, trying to keep his voice even, but she was testing his patience.

“No.” She retorted stubbornly and she had to go and stomp her foot like a petulant child and something snapped, something he’d been trying so hard to ignore. He’d tried to starve that need out, but even as it craved it grew stronger.

“Shut the fucking door Kate!” Seth roared out and he caught her hand, jerking her forward, slamming the door shut and pinning her against it. “Why couldn’t you have just shut the door?”

There was anger and alarm and the faintest hints of fear in her eyes. But there was something else too. A look that seemed foreign to her. They were nose to nose and he could taste her breath on his lips and all he wanted to do was drink her in.

Kate’s lips parted to speak but his mouth was on hers before she had the chance. She tasted better than anything he’d ever tasted because she tasted like forbidden fruit and the cherry sucker she’d had from the bank they’d been casing.

Cause of Death: Kate Fuller.

“Better than sex.” Kate mumbled against his lips.

“What?” Seth breathed out, confusion etched into his features.

“Oh my God.” Her lips parted as she inhaled sharply. “I am why you’re using.”

Seth’s eyes flickered over her features, processing what she was saying. ‘Kate, it’s not just you.” He admitted. “It’s a lot of things and you are just one part of what’s drive me here.” He was ashamed that she knew now. But she wasn’t pushing him away. In fact… was she pressing closer to him or was that just his imagination?

“I don’t think I’d be better than heroin.” Kate chewed on her bottom lip.

“Kate this is wrong.” Seth said, cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss to her forehead before resting his own forehead against hers. “Maybe you should drive back to Bethel. You deserve some good churchboy that’ll treat you right. Someone that won’t pull you into all this shit. Someone that won’t make you help him shoot him up because he can’t have what he wants.” Maybe he did have a conscious afterall.

“I really think I’m past good churchboys.” Kate said with a humorless laugh. “You can’t go back home once you get to this place.”

Her light was going out.

“That’s not true, Katie-Cakes.” Seth tried to summon a cheery attitude, but it fell flat. “Maybe it is true. The whole damn world is sideways these days and that has nothing to do with getting high.”

“I can agree with that. But it’s not even sideways, it's all the way upside down.” Kate leaned back against the door heavily, her lashes fluttering a little. “I don’t want to be the reason you shoot up Seth. Not even part of the reason.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s my fault.” He wasn’t going force that guilt on her. It wasn’t fair. “I’ll try to get clean.”

“We both know that’s easier said than done.” Kate pursed her lips and shook her head. “Especially if you’re still just going to be hung up on… me.” She was completely unreadable. Was she annoyed by that fact? Amused? Hell, with his luck she was probably repulsed. But she was better actress than he thought previous, when it came to this.

“We should eat. Let’s go get some food and then revisit this subject.” Between now and then she’d probably let it drop. He sure as hell was. He was going to erase the way she tasted from his mind and ignore how good it felt to be pressed up against her.

“Yeah. You need something.” Kate said quietly, ducking out from under his arm. That was definitely disappointment.

“Kate…”

“Don’t Kate me.” She whirled around to face him, her fists curled into balls at her sides. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe this is wrong. Maybe I’m just scared that I’m going to lose you too.” She retorted coldly, narrowing her eyes. “And given the way you’re going at it, I probably will. It really does wonders for a girl’s ego. My mother tried to kill herself, my father made me kill him, my brother is a fucking vampire that I’ll probably have to kill and then, well then there’s you… Slowly trying to kill yourself because of me. I am not as breakable as you seem to think I am. If I were afraid of you I would have already left. But here I am, dealing with your bullshit because…”

Seth braced himself, expecting her to slap him, but instead her fists rained down on his chest before she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his chest.

He tried to remind himself why this shouldn’t happen. She’s been through hell, so that’s wrong - right? It’s like taking advantage of a bad situation. But he’s been through hell too, for a lot longer than she has. Her hell is recent, his hell is etched into his bones. It’s wrong because she’s completely inexperienced, she probably doesn’t even know the terms for things, unless she’s started learning them off shitty t.v. in the motels he drags her to. But again, that’s because of him.

Fuck it.

Seth pulled back from her desperate hold, meeting her gaze for a long moment before he cupped her cheeks and kissed her again. It’s better this time. Before Kate hadn’t expected the kiss, she’d been slow to start and then they’d broken away and right now she’s kissing him with everything she has in her and it’s driving him wild.

There’s no stopping this time. No.

Kate Fuller deserved better than getting fucked on the edge of a table in a motel room, but neither of them seemed concerned about getting to the bed.

Somewhere between standing by the door and and lifting her onto the table they’ve lost all of their clothes. Her eyes are half-slanted and he knows his pupils are probably blown wide. They’re a sight to see. For someone coming off a high and almost too hard to focus, he still managed to get a condom out of his wallet and it’s ready by her hip on the table.

Her breasts are small, but they fit his hands just right and God did she make the best sounds he’s ever heard when his lips latched onto her nipples. She’s never experienced any of this before and he’s not going to rob her of a good time. Not when he knows he can make her soar in ways that no good little churchboy could even dream of.

“Fuck you’re wet.” Seth grunted out as his fingers brushed over her sex, his fingers parting her slick folds tenderly, watching her reaction with rapt attention.

Kate’s head fell backwards, her knuckles going white as she clutched at the edge of the table. “Seth.” She panted out, her hips bucking against his touch of their own volition. “Touch me just like that. Yes.”

Seth slowly thrust a single digit into her, testing her reaction, warming her up. She was a sight to behold, her back arched, her hair sticking to her sweaty skin as she ground herself against his fingers. A second finger seemed like it was almost too much for her, which would have ended it all right then and there, but she relaxed and accepted the invasion.

“Something’s…” Kate started, blinking at him as her lips parted and she moaned. “Something’s coming.” She managed, just as her inner muscles started to flutter and clench around the fingers he’s thrusting into her, again and again. 

“Are you ready for more?” Seth questioned quietly, his fingers curling around his cock, giving himself a few sure strokes. He’s going to need a very cold shower if she says no. He won’t hold it against her either. He’d probably say no if he were her.

Kate smiled at him and nodded. “Yes.” She reached for the condom beside her and handed it to him.

Seth thanked God (who probably didn’t give a fuck) that she wanted this too. He tore the package open, rolling the condom onto himself. He didn’t waste any time sinking into her. Slowly. He filled her slowly, letting her grow accustomed to the feel of his cock stretching her. It feels like heaven to him, but she grimacing a little.

“You okay?” He mumbled, brushing her hair away from her face.

She nodded slowly, biting down on her bottom lip. “Different.”

Seth slipped his hand down between her legs, teasing at her clit to relax her. Her inner muscles fluttered around him in response and he took that as a sign to start moving. It should have been a mattress creaking instead of a table as he thrusted into her. Maybe the mattress would still happen - it was still early enough.

Kate’s nails dug into his skin, drawing blood on his arms as she clung to him until he sent her soaring over the edge. She clenched around him impossibly tight and that was enough to send him straight into oblivion and honestly those few seconds of pleasure were better than that minute or two of orgasmic pleasure he got out of heroin. It was different and it was Kate that had given it to him.

Her thighs were trembling as he slipped out of her. Her chest was heaving and her eyes were clenched closed. He turned his back, afraid to see regret in her eyes. He had a good excuse to walk away from her, he had to dispose of the condom.

“If that was just a billionth of how you feel when you shoot up, then I get it.” Kate said quietly.

Seth glanced back over his shoulder at her, his lips curved upwards in that self-satisfied grin of his. “That was so much better than a high, baby.” He told her honestly, turning back around to face her. “I’m gonna quit Katie-Cakes.” He exhaled heavily, raking his hand over his face. “You don’t deserve to have to put up with me. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but I’m gonna kick it to the curb.”

“Really?” She laughed, closing her thighs slowly. “Everyone in high school that I know who’d had sex made it sound really lame. I kinda thought I’d regret this after it was over. But apparently my first time was good enough to make you quit.” She scooted off the edge of the table, looking around her for her underwear. “Who knows what’ll happen the next time.”

Seth smirked. She seemed a little more sure of herself now. Still all pumped up from the adrenaline of it all and he liked this side of Kate. It was the sure-of-herself Kate.

“You hungry?”

“Starving.” Kate replied, pulling her panties up with a little wiggle of her hips - clearly for his benefit.

Right now, Kate was glowing. She was brighter than he’d ever seen her before. But he knew, just as it was always darkest before the dawn, the sun was always brightest before dusk.


End file.
